What I wish I knew when I was in my 20’s

Now 80 years old, I decided to write a letter to myself to explore “What I wish I knew when I was in my 20’s.” I hope it will encourage you to look within and take exquisite care of yourself.

Fortunately I have excellent health and vitality, able to do whatever I please. I have recently published my first book, a memoir titled ‘Soul Selfish: The Awakening of a ‘Good Girl.’In writing my book I recounted the decades and stages of my life, the lessons I learned, and what was most important to me. When I finished, I paused to think about what my life would have been had I begun my inner journey earlier. I actually started it when I was 34 and it continues to this day.

Dear Jane,

First of all, never look back with remorse. Every step has brought you to where you are today. The only point of power is NOW! If you choose to look back, do it to release your pain, to free yourself, and for younger women whom you might inspire.

When I was in my 20’s

I wish I knew that I play the leading role in my life.

I wish I knew that life is an inside out process and that everything I create and feel starts with what I believe.

I wish I knew that my first and most important relationship is with myself. That if I loved myself, acknowledged myself and appreciated myself more, I would attract people who respond and return that love, people who would encourage me to dream and to fulfill my dreams.

I wish I knew that I had a soul connected to a benevolent Universe that supports me and guides me, and to listen for it deeply and daily.

I wish I knew that my spirituality and love for myself would fill me, and that I don’t need to look to others to validate my worth.

I wish I knew more that I was beautiful, inside and out.

I wish I knew that I was safe and that I know how to keep myself safe.

I wish I knew that my emotions are a real and powerful guidance system that tells me from minute to minute what I like and don’t, who is being kind and supportive to me and who isn’t, what I enjoy, in which environments I flourish, what abilities and talents are natural to me — who and what to move towards and to move away from.

I wish I knew that when my desires source in my soul, they are important for me to respect, as important as others’ desires. They are intended to be good for all, for the soul does not separate people — unlike ego desires which commonly source in competition, acquisitiveness, aggression and revenge.

I wish I knew that I am able to take care of myself, and that my relationships are there to give and receive love, support, beauty, expansion and pleasure, enriching the lives we share.

I wish I knew the power of my sensuality and sexuality — that they ignite my life force.

I wish I knew that it is OK to put my needs, desires and feelings first some of the time, to stand more for myself.

I wish I knew to give more respect to my wisdom and talents.

I wish I knew about unconditional love — that I might aim to see goodness in, or have compassion for others regardless of their behavior

I wish I knew how to comfortably ask for help and support.

I wish I knew more about the value of fun.

I wish I knew to play more, dance more, sing more. laugh more, trust myself more, make love more and rest more.

I wish I knew that my love of beauty and the wonder of nature connect me to my soul.

I wish I knew that forgiveness is freedom.

I wish I knew how good it feels to choose gratitude.

I wish I knew more about the lives of great creators, their passions and the qualities that supported them to make awesome contributions.

I wish I knew how precious each day is.

I wish I remembered that love is the most important thing in life.

Dear Jane, relax and allow these thoughts to grow in you each day.

Jane Wyker is a former family counselor, author, mother, teacher and spiritual explorer. Her debut memoir, Soul Selfish: The Awakening of a “Good Girl,” illustrates her journey of becoming aware, learning to focus on personal feelings and desires as well as meeting the needs of family, friends and community. For more information, please visit www.janewyker.com.

good girl letter to myself self love soul selfish

Written by Lisa Thompson

Lisa Thompson is Founder and Executive Director of the non-profit Self Love Beauty and host of 'The Confident Podcast'. She is an established confidence and self-love workshop leader and keynote speaker. She received a Bachelors in Arts in Communications and Public Relations from Michigan State University, degree in Social Impact Strategy from the University of Pennsylvania, certified in Positive Psychology and Creating Wellbeing, certified in Fundraising and Philanthropy from the Lilly Family School of Philanthropy at Indiana University and trained in mindfulness from the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute. Currently, she sits on the MiHIA Adverse Childhood Experience (ACEs) steering team to build resilience in adults and children in Michigan, Great Lakes Bay Mental Health Partnership and a Rotary member. Her mission is to use her gifts, strengths and talents in speaking and writing to connect with people and empower them to love themselves, get unstuck and take personal action for self-improvements. She resides in Michigan, loves to run, sip on Americanos and has a dog named Denver.