So many people settle in life everyday. They settle with relationships, their jobs, their friends and their happiness. But why? Why settle for something that will only make you happy for a short period of time? Yes, it is easy but it won’t make things better forever.
One thing I have learned from realizing that you are settling is its easy. I mean so many of us stay in places and position we do not want because its easy or the thought of leaving what is comfortable just seems unrealistic.
“Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve, because once you start to settle, you always will.”
We end up with jobs we don’t want or don’t like, we deal with friends that treat us terrible and have no problem letting us down and we let our significant others run the relationship and we allow them to get away with things.
So why do we settle? Why do we choose to stay for those things when they are better opportunities out there?
I think I have learned from myself and others that we weigh the pros and cons, maybe decide to leave then one thing changes for maybe a little bit and we believe it will get better so we stay, we settle. When eventually that one thing that changed, changed only for a short time, not long term.
“Be strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.”
We are scared of change.
We are scared of taking that risk and then failing.
I think sometimes we forget that change is a good thing.
Yes it is scary and its about taking a risk, but wouldn’t you rather take the risk and find something better then be stuck in something and settle with your life. You only get one life to live. Most of us complain and say we want change but do nothing about it. Those that complain and make the change accomplish more in life and do not settle for anything. It is far easier to settle than live outside of your comfort zone. I have been there multiple times but when I realized I was settling I worked so hard to make a change, its crazy how difficult that time is to walk away from certain things, to stand up for yourself and be out of your comfort zone. But in reality the reward is so much greater because with that little time of difficulty you get to live a strong life of happiness forever and you won’t be settling.
Many of us justify why we stay in the certain positions or place we do. We try to tell ourselves we are happy when at the end of the day you look back with regret and wish we didn’t settle for certain things. I understand it is easy to settle and going after what you really want in life is scary. Some of us settle I feel because we do not know what we want. I have been there before but instead of staying in something comfortable you have to figure out what you do want, sometimes that road is even more difficult but once you figure it out, you won’t settle, you will live the life you were suppose to live.
Lately I have seen more and more people settle for jobs, friends and relationships a lot. Its hard to see someone potential and watch them settle for something less.
Settling In Relationships
With relationships, I believe we settle because people believe being with someone is better than being alone. We like the stability of having someone else there. I do think we put in our heads that we are ‘happy’ when in reality we are only happy part time. You start to make excuses for the things they do that you don’t like, you start to make excuses for when they treat you bad and you put on a front for when you aren’t happy. We think we are happy because that one day or that one week things are going well we hold onto that instead of realizing we are settling for something less than we deserve. I’ve been there. I know other people have. We don’t think we are settling, we think its just a phase, things will change and we stay in something less than we deserve. The moment you decide to walk away is the hardest thing, you go back a couple times because its easy and you can ‘work it out’ when you know in your head you don’t fully want to be with them. You are happy for the time being but wouldn’t you rather be happy full time? We settle because we put in our heads we aren’t good enough for something or someone else. But once you make the decision to walked away and keep walking, you would see just what else is out there.
For some people they are tired of dating or being alone, so they pick up the first person that says the right thing. It takes time, effort and patience to find the right person. And some of us don’t want to wait, to wait for God’s plan instead of your own so you settle for what is easy, for what doesn’t take effort.
Relationships are just one example, but between friends, jobs and places we live. Happiness can be full time but you have to not settle, you have to fight through the hard stuff to move forward. People are lazy. I have watched so many of my guy friends and girl friends settle with life and I remember saying to myself or sometimes to them, stop taking the easy way out. It takes a lot of effort to be happy and to not settle and therefore people settle and stay lazy. When you lack confidence, self-worth and ambition you stay because instead of working on those things its easy to ‘accept’ and not make it better. You have to want to change things in your life to make things better.
The past is not a reason to not risk again or to be scared. Its just an excuse for not pushing on in life for what you want. If anything because of past events it should help motivate you to change the future but instead most people do not do this.
We often get stuck in places and do not know how to escape. Instead of figuring it out, we stay. We settle. To move on from settling you have to think differently, get rid of the baggage in your life, connect some type of direction and make a plan and PUT THE PLAN IN MOTION. That’s a huge part, actually doing it instead of saying you will. This is a hard thing to do. Everything I just said is so much easier said than done but once you make one step, you take one more and one more. Piece by piece.
You need patients, you need to take risk and you need to realize you deserve to be happy.
Remember you only get one life to live, make it how you want it be no matter what it takes. The only way to embrace your skills and what you deserve is to not settle. We are only limiting yourself and wasting time when you could be doing something else, something that makes you happier than you ever imagined.
The moment you realize this, you feel so much more alive. Work for your goals. Things worth having are not easy, they are hard work but they are worth it. There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t settle.