You broke my heart.
I am in awe that you seriously thought that little of me that you ended things with me via text. You couldn’t look me in the eye and tell me the truth. The truth being you were actually telling five other girls the same thing you were telling me.
You thought that little of me that instead of taking responsibility for what you did, you turned it around on me and made me feel bad. And guess what? It worked. I felt terrible for being the reason you didn’t want to be with me, I felt bad and was hard on myself trying to figure out a way to fix it. And what was worse is I made excuses for the way you were acting.
What you probably didn’t know that even though I have been doing what I need to do in life and staying strong, I wake up every morning wondering what I did wrong. Most nights I would go to bed crying over the fact that you didn’t have the decency to give us a real chance but instead picked someone over me. I spent time every day analyzing the situation trying to figure out what I did wrong.
You made me believe there was a chance to be in love with someone again and that someone could actually care about me. However eventually you made me feel that way for only a short time and then walked out the door.
I was the good girl. The only good girl you never started to date. I was the one that doesn’t sleep around and tries to do good for the world. Maybe I was different, maybe I was independent and didn’t run to you about everything or bitch to you about everything. Maybe I was one that was different than the others. But the way you treated me because it was easier for you to do that….hurts. And when I say ‘hurt’ the definition is harder to explain than you may realize. The fact you could not show any emotion toward me but instead just ran into the next girls arms in beyond selfish.
You made me feel worthless.
You made me feel not good enough.
But I have news for you. I am worth it and I am good enough.
While you are running around from girl to girl trying to feel something, trying to act like you have it all together I am going to be over here being that good girl. I am the girl that is going to do what God needs of her. But I feel sorry for you because while you are stuck in messes and when you want change instead of actually doing it you are going to settle.
The Good Girl