By guest blogger Erica Chavez
Love is a lot of things and there are a lot of different types of love. There is true love, crazy love, long-lasting love but the worst, oh the worst, is unrequited love.
If you have ever been in this type of love, then you know what I am talking about. I recently found out what it feels like to be involved in unrequited love. You will never understand until you go through this. I used to remember telling myself that I am strong and independent and I would never let a guy string me along or treat me poorly. To be quite honest, I judged my friends who did this. A guy would be treating them horrible or it was clear the guy was just not that into them, I would tell them to move on and not understand why they couldn’t just get over it. Now, I know. Don’t ever judge a situation you have not been in.
So what exactly is unrequited love? Let me walk you through my scenario. I met a guy at a work event and he was nice, funny, smart – all the perfect guy qualities. My usual self would run the opposite direction, but he was persistent to hang out and talk all the time. I gave in. I started talking to him and seeing him on a regular basis. We were just friends getting to know each other. One night a few weeks later, we became more than friends.
I was officially stuck in this situation. I liked him and he liked me. But, we talked one day and he told me that he did not want a relationship, which is an immediate red flag. He is a very indecisive person about anything and everything, so I should have known he would also have commitment issues. I should have left then. Why couldn’t I leave this? I have never been this girl. I always run without saying a word. Well, I stayed. I decided it was better to be with him in some way then to not be with him at all.
If I can offer any advice from the situation I went through, it would be to understand that you will not change this type of guy and you should just leave. If he wanted to be with me, he would have been. Relationships are all about timing. That’s a quote to live by.
So long story short, it ended. He started going on dates and I couldn’t handle it, so I left. The worst part was when I finally did end this – he didn’t say a word. That’s when I knew that I definitely made the right choice. So if anyone has been through this, or is currently going through this, just know that it is not your fault and you couldn’t have done anything more. It’s all about the timing, and here is the hard part…he will probably be dating some other girl a few months later.
Don’t judge your friends when they make bad decisions about a guy who is all wrong for them. It takes people different lengths of time to move on from this. My situation was quick, but that’s because I am impatient and I knew I would never let a good guy in as long as he was in my life. The last thing I will say is that I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you or for me, but I’m not at the same time. That is not the person for you, if they were willing to let you go. I want someone who would be crushed at the thought of me not being in their life. I know I will look back on this one day and understand more why it ended, so that something better could come along.
Unrequited love will change you but it also prepares you for when the real thing comes along.