Dear Little Sister,
You snapchatted me the other day to ask if you should curl your hair for a family gathering we were having at the house. I spent ten minutes telling and showing you what I was wearing. I spent another ten minutes showing you what our other sister was doing with her hair and what she was wearing because you were ‘just wondering’. Slowly but surely I was able to get to the root of the issue and the point of the entire talk. It was suddenly apparent to me that you weren’t ‘just wondering’ what we were wearing but that you were wondering so you could dress to fit in. You asked if you should curl your hair because you were worried that if you did it would ‘be too fancy’. To quell your fears, I curled my hair so you wouldn’t feel like you stood out too much.
There is a normal level of wanting to fit in with your siblings. Believe me. I noticed that as soon as when I bought something, a similar item was soon to be found in your closet as well. I told you that tribal prints and palazzo pants were going to be big last summer and you know what, I was right. You’re welcome. I think some trying to fit in is healthy and I enjoy some of it because I know I can do my best to be a positive role model in your life.
However, there has been a recent pattern of incessant worry. You worry about how you should wear your hair at school, what color you should dye it for the season and about what brands of clothes you are wearing because you want to fit in. You make sure to comment on a photo that I post of you and point out your flaws so no one else will. I know it is natural to want to fit in but there is something I want you to know.
The first thing I want you to know is that you are beautiful no matter how you do your hair or no matter what brand you are wearing. The people that matter in your life don’t care if you wear J Crew, Hollister or Walmart brands. You could be wearing a garbage bag and you would still be beautiful. Regardless, of what is on the outside, your inside makes you beautiful. You are beautiful for your endless love for unfortunate animals that you post everyday in hopes they will find a forever home. You are beautiful because every time you fight with your best friend, you do whatever it takes it fix it. You are beautiful for your little 13 year old sense of humor that makes everyone laugh.
The second thing I want you to know is that you should embrace your uniqueness. Young ladies that grow into women never get far by fitting in. Girls and women who change the world are not the ones that go with the flow. If you embrace what makes you who you are, you are going to love yourself more and you are going to win the hearts of everyone because they will see the most amazing things about you. Be brave and show the world who you are and what you have to offer because when you do, you will be happy and you will change the lives of others. Your uniqueness is what makes you different from me and everyone else. Embrace that because no one else has it but you.
The last thing I want to tell you is that the people who matter don’t mind your weirdness and who you are on the inside and the people that do mind, don’t matter. The people that care about you are the ones who don’t worry about what you wear or how you look. The people that do care about what you have on the outside are the ones that don’t matter. You should never waste your time trying to please those people because at the end of the day, they will fade out of your life faster than you can even imagine. Those people that surround you in school will probably never talk to you after high school and you will eventually probably forget their names. Spend your time embracing who you are and doing what you love instead of trying to impress them and you will be so much happier. You can make these awkward teenage years a little better by doing so.
Dance like no one is watching. Quit trying to please and impress people and enjoy this most carefree time of your life because it won’t last.
Your Big Sister
By Contributor Writer: Layla McKinley