This weekend I woke up to multiple texts from my guy friends stating how shitty women are. How they have been hurt by women, used by women or felt betrayed or more importantly how their feelings got extremely hurt by the actions of women. After listening to their concerns a couple themes seems to be there.
They use their past as a crutch to not enjoy what they have in front of them
They use the excuse that they are not looking for something even if they were starting to show interest
They do not know how to communicate and deal with confrontation so they ghost people
Hmm ladies does any of this sound familiar from the other side? Have you ever felt like this? Have you ever complained to your friends that a guy did all the above themes? I bet you have. I have. My best friends have. People I barely know have.
However, we continue to do it right back to men.
We use our past of terrible relationships as crutches for not seeing what we deserve and what is right in front of us, however we hate when guys use their past terrible relationships as excuses to not be with you, someone who cares. We hate when guys tell us that they do not want a relationship, but next week they are with someone new, however we do the same thing. And lastly we blame men for just not being straight honest with us and communicate with us but instead ghost us however again when we don’t want to deal with something we do the exact damn thing.
Come on we are smarter than that!
Break the Cycle
Its a pretty easy concept to follow, if you don’t want to be treated like that then why the hell are you treating amazing men that exact same way. Just be honest. If you don’t communicate with a guy about how you feel and he reacts in an asshole way, do you blame him? Just think about when you don’t get communicated to well and you become a bitch? Its the same thing. So why do we feel as though we can do it but they are terrible people if they do. If you want the respect you have to give it. Be the break in the cycle.
Stop the Excuses
Okay ladies, stop using the past. Stop using the asshole you dated last month who screwed you over as your excuse for being fearful. Put on your big girl panties express your fear to the next man and see how he reacts if he doesn’t care then move onto the next if he does and he works to make sure he isn’t like your last, give it a chance. However if you aren’t feeling it just say so. No more of these bullshit excuses, you hate excuses so why give them. Be straight. You have nothing to lose.
Don’t Ghost Anyone
Have you ever been ghosted? Had that guy you like not call you back or text you? Have you ever made plans with someone and them not call? Remember how that feels…pretty crappy doesn’t it? Again, why do you feel it is okay to do that men? Its not. Its unacceptable and its rude. Its rude for them and its rude for us.
Think About It
Next time you are in a situation where you have to react to a guy that you aren’t interested in, put yourself in his shoes. Be honest. Be your self and stop doing what men do to you to them.
I for one think dating is so hard, it is frustrating and confusing. It also is beautiful and fun if you let it be.
It is your decision how you are treated but it is also your decision how you treat others. Be fair.
So do me a favor, do you girl friends a favor and do your guy friends a favor and be the change. We all deserve it. My guy friends are the most amazing humans in the world. They have caring hearts and they have been through some tough times, they didn’t deserve your rude comments, nor do you deserve the douche bag that hurt you to be rude either.