As women in one aspect of our lives we have cared what others have thought. We have tried to change what we do to fit the mold for someone else. We have strived to make someone else happy over our own. We try to fit in with people that sometimes we shouldn’t have to.
I have done this. I have done this a lot as I tried to learn more about myself, who I am and what I want. I also did this because I cared what someone thought of me.
The Woman’s Who’s Opinion Matter
This women was not suppose to be in my life. Frankly, she didn’t help me become a better person or succeed in my dreams. Instead she continued to be that piece of the puzzle in my life that didn’t fit the picture.
However, I may have known that but I cared so much of what she thought of me.
Maybe it was because I wanted everyone to like me; or maybe it was because she seemed to have this power over others that if she talked about someone in a bad way everyone else would be on board with her.
I didn’t want to be on her bad side; I didn’t want to make her hate me. So instead I catered to her needs. I invited her places, I let her vent about others without defending them, I let her get the guy that she wanted and I let her continue to stir up drama in my life that continued to bring me down.
As time went on, it was harder to get out of this so called ‘friendship’ than ever before. We were close or more so she used me when her boyfriend was busy, she needed help with life problems or needed to vent.
Then it happened to me….
Then in one day everything changed. I became the girl she talked about drunk at a party. I was the girl that was hurt by her words, feeling defenseless based on false rumors.
I understood that this is who she was and I could either stay in a non great friendship or leave it and move forward.
I mean my best friends would never do this to me, true friendship does not work this way however I continued to spend all my energy trying to make someone happy that did not care about my feelings. When in reality I should have spent my energy loving on the friends who were there for me.
So I Stopped.
I stopped caring what she thought. I stopped giving her the news to start drama. I stopped catering to her needs.
And guess what? I became more happy. I felt free. I took back that part of my life that I continued to give attention too.
I then gave that attention to those around me that love, support and care of me. The people that make me laugh, bring out the best in me and that would never do that to me.
It was hard, it was hard to say goodbye to that life but at the same time it has been a year and I can honestly say it was the best decision I ever made.
Loving yourself also means making sure you surround yourself with people that love you back.
You deserve it.