Don’t let someone’s opinion of you become your definition for yourself.
There are many great feelings we get in life: those butterflies when you’re around your crush, the feeling of accomplishment when you graduate, and that feeling of success when you land your dream job. You what else feels oh so fabulous… not dwelling on the opinions of others.
I know people say they don’t care about other people’s opinions all the time but when you truly mean it, it’s kind of a life changer. It took me so long to truly love and like myself, and I’m not about to sit here and sell myself to you. I don’t need or want your validation.
It’s not worth the stress
Everyone has opinions but not all of them are relevant. I wasted years, energy, and time worrying about the opinions of others. Between the trouble sleeping, constant second guessing, and anxiety attacks, my obsession for acceptance and validation took over my life. I was at the point that I felt love from everyone else but didn’t even like myself. Sometimes you have to sit back and ask yourself if the stress and heartache is worth it. Are the people’s opinions I’m stressing over worth it? The answer is probably no. You can’t alter everyone’s views of you all of the time so don’t enter that mental and emotional battle that you won’t win.
Over thinking and self consciousness were my ruthless inner bullies and I often found myself comfortable with complying with others as a response. Because giving my honest opinions and stating how I really felt could rock the boat, I would opt to refrain from expressing myself. There came a point where I just had enough. I will not look, talk, and go along with what everyone finds comfortable and suitable for me because I am no one’s puppet or toy. You aren’t put on this world to simply blend in and make everyone else happy but yourself. You should create your own happiness, express yourself in words, fashion, or lifestyle, and do the things that you are passionate about.
Surround yourself with positivity
Don’t get me wrong, some opinions may not be what we want to hear but may be what we need to hear. There is a difference between constructive criticism and manipulation. Refrain from associating with people who only find you in good graces only when you do or say everything to their liking. What’s good for them may not be good for you. Be around people that support you and are honest with you.
Let it go
The sooner you accept that not everyone will like you, the faster you will find peace with yourself and criticism as a whole. At one time in my life, if I would hear of anyone disrespecting me or saying untrue things about me, my first instinct was to call them and talk about it or meet up with them to discuss. At first it seemed great because I was used to always bottling my feelings. It was never anything confrontational but more to open a conversation. As lovely and upfront as that seemed, that was a complete waste of time and I had to cut that out.
Here’s the bottom line: some people may never like you and will find an issue with anything you do. You could give them the world and they’d still find an issue with you. The best way to deal with some people is to not deal with them at all.
How you view yourself is most important
At the end of the day, the opinions of others are just that, opinions. Just because someone doesn’t see your value, it doesn’t mean you’re worthless. Just because you don’t match someone’s idea of the “perfect woman” doesn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful. Just because someone doesn’t appreciate your efforts and kind heart, it doesn’t mean that you are should shut yourself off. And just because someone doesn’t agree with you, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong. You are everything and more and truly one of a kind. You are too fortunate, fabulous, and favored to need anyone’s input, opinion, or approval. The most important opinion of you is the one you have for yourself.
Morgan is also a writer for our Odyssey Online Self Love Beauty community! Be sure to check out her other amazing articles!