The hardest times is when it’s late and you’re alone in your room sobbing your heart out, but no one can hear you. You want someone to hear you, but at the same time you don’t. You don’t want to be a burden. You don’t want anyone to think there’s something is wrong with you. So you carry this weight on your shoulders each day until you slowly break.
And it’s not just one thing that you’re worrying about. It’s the multiple thoughts or situations you’ve overreacted in your head a million times. It could be the worry over a class, or every word you said that day making sure you didn’t stray from the standard you put yourself up too. You just want to make sure you don’t let anyone down.
Anxiety at midnight can go from, “Did I lock my car?” to “Did I disappoint someone today?” It’s the fear that people are constantly talking about you, and how you need to be a better person. It’s every insult anyone’s ever said to you swirling around in your mind, and you’re left thinking of ways to improve yourself.
Anxiety at midnight is not being able to take that joke, because someone said it before and actually meant it. It’s knowing that you’re overreacting, and telling yourself to calm down, but you can’t. You can’t control all the fears and voices inside your head.
Anxiety at midnight is being completely fine one moment, and in the next feeling like you’re drowning in thought. You toss and turn in bed, and no matter what you do, you can’t fall asleep.
It is hard to understand anxiety, and it can come out of nowhere. But when it does appear, just remember that you have overcome it before, and you can do it again.