Life is crazy. Life is an emotional roller coaster. And do you want to know what else is a roller coaster and crazy? Love. I bet all of you are nodding your heads in agreement right now.
Just two weeks ago on New Year’s Day, I called my mom in tears. I don’t even think it was because it was new years, it was more of an emotional breakdown trying to figure out my life. Yes once again, I am trying to figure out what I want. Every time I think I know, I push away from a lot of it including my faith which has lead me so much in life. God has given me more amazing opportunities than I know what to do with. As we tried to figure out what was next for me all I could think about was the baggage I have carried within my life and how I have just tried to hide it all from the world because it is easier that way. I sat there trying to take advice from my mom and trying to figure out what I wanted. I realized I wanted so many things, my mind was having a freak out and I needed to take small steps- one by one.
One of those things just happens to be leaving behind the guys in my life that have completely hurt me and move forward. Which leads me to one battle I have been struggling with, dating. I think most girls can relate when I say it is one of the most nerve wrecking but fun experiences. I have dated but needed to learn to start giving things a chance or be open. Which I have said for a long time but I also know it is about timing in your life.
I recently went on a ‘blind’ date. I say ‘blind’ although it really wasn’t just because of Facebook. Nowadays, not many first dates are really blind. We texted a little before we met but this was our first time meeting in person. I started dating just a couple months after a really hard time in my life and I would never get this nervous before a first date. I usually know what I want to wear and I just go with the flow. I changed my outfit 4 times, I curled my hair and sat on my bed for five minutes texting one of my best friends about how nervous I was. I can’t even tell you why, this one different. Maybe because the people setting us up, know my personality and this guy could be more than just another douchebag I usually date.
Back to the date.
We actually double dated with my friend and her husband. We went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in town and Michigan State Basketball was on TV (I know how perfect, go green!). Anyways, dinner was great, great conversation and as we ended dinner with my friend and her husband, we decided we were not done hanging out. We drove to the local bar in town to grab a few drinks to get to know each other more. Anyone that knows me, knows I can talk to a wall so conversation for me is never a problem however just because I can talk a lot doesn’t mean conversation with everyone has ‘meat’. But to my luck, it was there, it was easy, it was fun. We ended up closing down the bar after great conversation, a few too many drinks and a lot of laughter.
The next day, I woke up thinking about how much fun I had, how great the conversation was and how comfortable I was talking to him. I am open about my life but I’m not like that ever, especially when I just met someone. What came of the first date you ask? A second date, a third date and much more time getting to know each other. It has been fun, relieving and mainly for an independent women such as myself, interesting to watch a man understand what I need and choose to help make my life better.
I can’t tell you what will come of any of this but I am writing this because I was losing hope in all men. I was starting to feel as though the only guys left were guys that I had no attraction to, guys who half ass relationships with me or were complete assholes. He could become my prince charming or just another guy that has taught me another valuable lesson. Maybe this guy will even be lucky enough to be in a string of my blog and have a better title than Bob did.
Just remember girls with every bad guy that left a bad taste in your mouth, there are great guys that have a mix of what you want. However, it isn’t when you think you are ready, it is when God thinks you are ready. Have faith.