Written by guest blogger Sonya Matejko
Regret is a funny thing. It sticks to us like honey, even after we’ve washed our hands of it. It stays on us like the scent that forever stains your collar. It always comes back like the pesky fly that won’t disappear. But is regret really that relentless? Or are we opening the door of our minds for regret to move in?
We wake up mornings regretting the day or days before. We tread throughout the day as if regret was a ball and chain linked to our ankles. Our heads are down, as we try and pull the weight of our sins. But, my dear, if you were to look up and see the sun you’d realize there are things bigger than your past mistakes.
We go to sleep counting our troubles and praying for better days. But don’t you see that it is up to you to make these days exist? Don’t you see, darling, that when you wake, this is the beginning of the rest of your life? Regret should not wake up on the pillowcase beside you. Leave regret to the past where it belongs. Wake up with the conviction that you are better than your past.
Because, truthfully, I have probably forgotten hundreds of mistakes I’ve made in my lifetime. I could not remember what I regretted on a rainy afternoon, like today, 3 years ago. Three years ago I remember the trip I took to the coast of France. Three years ago I remember being hopelessly in love. Three years ago I don’t remember the weight of mistakes we seem to carry voluntarily.
So let go. As the days go on, it’ll be the momentous moments you scrapbook in your mind. At the end of our days, we won’t look back on midnight regrets, afternoon gaffes, and morning blunders. No, as our days near an end we’ll look back at all we did and hope that we did all we could.
Do you see yet, darling? How when you waste your moments stuck in a puddle of regret you’re missing all the moments you’ll actually want to remember? Let go. Let all the errors drift away. Leave the mistakes in the dust with the rest of your past. Don’t let darkness overshadow the sparkle of your happiness. Because don’t you see yet… there is so much to be happy about.
“You, my dear, are so much more than your mistakes.”
When you sit in your rut going back and forth between what if’s and what not’s… Leave your mind and enter the world. Enter the world and do something worthwhile. If you worry that you have faltered, then go out and prove yourself wrong. If you feel you’ve lost yourself, then go out and find yourself in the present. There are endless possibilities of wonder waiting for you to capture them.
Leave what you cannot change to memory’s sake. The menial mistakes will fade in time. You’ll probably make more to add to the disappearing list. Make as many as you want, darling. We learn from them. We grow from them. It’s through these very mistakes that we are able to experience the brighter moments with a stronger heart. It’s through these very errors that we find more bliss in the wonderful.
Regret is a funny thing; because it’s something we invent to punish ourselves. When truly, you should not punish yourself for living. And if an act truly requires reprieve, then do not waste time sulking in its wake. Go and be the change you want in yourself, go apologize to yourself or the world and then let go, but whatever you do – go. It’s about time we remove the shackles around our ankles.
Because I hope you see that the only things we should hold onto are the moments that made you laugh with joy, weep from bliss, smile from sincerity, and above all things – the moments that made us love. So love yourself, darling, and love all those around you. We all make mistakes, but as our days trickle on, don’t let regret be what defines you.
You, my dear, are so much more than your mistakes.