I’ve been staring at this blank screen for the last ten minutes…while scrolling through my phone trying to ignore the fact that tears are streaming down my face and that my apple watch continues to vibrate my arm telling me to breathe.
Being the strong one all the times sometimes means your feelings are the last thought of, you are the pun of all jokes because you can handle it and there is never a compliment thrown at you because people believe you don’t need it.
Dating becomes harder because everyone thinks you don’t want someone or need anyone; however you saw right through that or frankly didn’t care because you wanted to be that person that made me smile; which in fact you did.
You actually did more than that. You made me feel beautiful. Beautiful in the aspect of seeing my beauty through the lens of my self-love, determination and confidence. You understood my drive to be success, my corky personality and my random thoughts each day. You took the time to see what made me beautiful as Lisa; you took the time to understand the reason why I shut people out, don’t share emotions and love giving my all to everything in my life. You genuinely cared.
From the moment I met you it was an instant… ‘that’s him’ feeling and a year later that feeling was still there.
I’ll never understand why our paths crossed a few times or why someone like you don’t see the value you bring to any table. However, I do know that because of you I understand that settling in my life will always in fact never be a option for me.
I remember the day, you made me feel so beautiful. I called my mom in tears (again an emotion I hate) just saying I had a guy make me feel beautiful. You saw me for everything I was and still stayed;
Our timing might have been short lived and to this day I will never understand why that had to be the case but you set a new level of exceptions for the next person in my life.
Because of you I finally understand what a true mature relationship can be like and I cannot wait for the day another man makes me feel as beautiful as you did.
For that, I just wanted to say thank you and in the meantime I will continue to keep self-love and respect for myself.