It breaks my heart that you think it’s the only way out, but you’re wrong.
Noun: The intentional taking of ones own life.
Verb: To commit suicide. (to kill oneself.)
Adjective: To be unhappy and likely to commit suicide.
In honor of my dear friend struggling and anyone else who has these suicidal thoughts, it will get easier. It is worth fighting. You are not weak, you’re not alone.
My heart breaks that you feel suicide is the only way out. It’s a permanent, “fix” to a temporary situation. This situation may not feel temporary, but I promise it is. It will get better, and I can’t promise it will in a month, or year, or even years, but I know it eventually will.
The world is a cruel place and it’s an unhappy place for someone struggling the way you are. I know it’s hard to see the beauty in simple things right now, but I promise you will see them again. You think there is a gap between us, because we don’t become excited about the same things. I realize you think you have fallen too far to raise from. You’re wrong, you will never fall too far to be picked back up from.
Simple tasks are becoming harder and harder for you, aren’t they? The thoughts you have are like pots and pans banging in your ears, but they won’t stop. You can’t see anything, but your insecurities. You have chosen to ignore these continuous thoughts, but sometimes you feel you can’t push through. It seems like no one realizes because you fake a smile and wear a mask.
You think no one can see through this mask, but I can. I see the pain in your eyes after you fake a laugh or the way you stare blankly out the window during a party. You don’t think your loved, or wanted. Bottle things up because you think you are a bother, that people will start to leave.
Do you look around and see people smiling and laughing, but you feel trapped underwater? The moment you start reaching the top another waves hits you and takes you further under.
Suicide is said to be selfish, and for the weak. Sometimes people fall so deep they feel they can’t raise, but there is help out there. You may find help in the form of friends or family members, or it could come in the form of outside help such as speaking with a Psychologist. Professionals such as Farah Premji (you can find out more at https://www.fpcounselling.com) are also on hand to offer you any support that you may need to stop you from falling so deep that you can’t get yourselves back out again. Please make sure you seek help in any way possible.
If you leave you will be taking yourself out of the situation, but leaving pain and guilt on everyones life you touched. It breaks my heart that you feel it’s the only way out, but it’s not. The world is a cruel place for people with any illness. You’re stronger than this thought in your head. You have a life to live and a purpose.
To anyone feeling suicide is the only option, it isn’t. You are not alone, and you shouldn’t feel weak or crazy. Instead you should reach out and get help. Everyone needs help at some point in their life. When you kill yourself, you’re not just killing you, but killing a piece of everyones life you touched.
You don’t have to listen to these thoughts. These thoughts are wrong. You were put on this earth for a reason, don’t you want to figure it out? I promise you’re not alone and it may take awhile, but you will see the beauty in life again.
Stay Brave. Keep fighting. You are more.